While some people are holding their families close this holiday season, plenty of others are left wishing they still had that chance. (SBG San Antonio)
HELOTES, TX - While some people are holding their families close this holiday season, plenty of others are left wishing they still had that chance.
One family is remembering their loved one on their first Christmas without him.
"He was like the love of my life, because he's part of me," Jill McCloskey said.
A piece of her heart now lives in heaven after losing her twin brother, Jack, just over a month ago.
"I've been like -- in four months just, just trying to handle it and hold it down," she explained. "There'd be days I'd just say: 'God, help me. Help me. Help me. Help me'."
It was a quick, and unexpected fight with pancreatic cancer.
She said his days were numbered from the day of the diagnosis, adding they were together every day in between.
"I did everything I could to help him," she shared. "I got to spend the last four months of his life with him, and I was here when he passed away."
Now, their family is near the end of their first holiday stretch without him.
Jill said, she always hoped this day was years away.
"Jack was thinking he was going to have years to live," she said. "I knew it, and I know my family knew it... I was hoping that he would be able to be here for Christmas."
She shared pictures of the 65-year-old throughout his life — telling stories and reminiscing over their childhood.
She said nothing hurts more than losing the person she shared an indescribable connection with.
This holiday season, she'll honor him the best way she knows how.
"He would want me to continue on the way I normally live, and not be so sad," she said tearfully. "To just -- remember him."
Now, she's clinging tightly to her family and wishing she got the goodbye she always imagined they'd say.
"When i leave this earth.. I want my brother to go with me," she explained. "Because we came in together, and.. when I go -- that we're together."
If you're missing someone this holiday season and needing someone to talk to about navigating holiday grief with: the national alliance on mental illness (NAMI) has a Bexar Warm line to get you started.
Their team is available seven days a week from 8 a.m. until 11 p.m.
For help, call 210-939-9999.