NORTH HAVEN — It was supposed to be just a routine procedure. North Haven's Matthew Nolan, a robust 41-year old man who'd beaten back substance abuse and channeled his experience to become a better friend, mentor, father and husband, was supposed to be in the hospital just three days after a surgery.
Three days stretched into weeks as Nolan developed dire post-op complications — complications which ultimately led to his death on April 4, leaving a wife, two little girls and bills to pay, too many for Nolan's family if they wanted to maintain the life they built together in North Haven.
"To be honest, my No. 1 goal since this all happened is to keep my house," said Jennifer Nolan, a North Haven High School math teacher and Matt's wife of 10 years. "Matt built our house in North Haven. He gutted out what we bought and completely rebuilt it. And, for the girls, I want to be able to keep it. I can't afford it on my own."
Fortunately for the Nolans, the North Haven community had just the thing to help: the football team's annual Spring Brawl fundraiser which has generated tens of thousands of dollars for families in need over the last 15 years. Jennifer Nolan's coworkers made sure the Nighthawks knew about the family's plight.
"I think it was kind of hush- hush in the building, but some of the people in the math department, the secretaries in the building, came to me," coach Anthony Sagnella said. "They knew we were planning for this event. ... And it was a no-brainer."
North Haven will hold this year's Brawl to benefit the Nolan family Friday at 6 p.m. at the high school. Tickets are $5 and all proceeds from the event will go to the Nolan family. The game, which pits a white squad against a maroon squad of North Haven football undergraduates, is run by North Haven Youth Football and coached by the graduating North Haven football players, to avoid running afoul of CIAC rules.
This is the 21st year of the Brawl, which was dreamed up as a team fundraiser by then-players Ted Keyes and Charles Riether and has since evolved into the charity benefit. This year's celebrity coaches have connections to the founders. White Team's Chuck Reither, a local attorney, is Charles' father. Team Maroon's Ralph Zingarella is a North Haven graduate who runs the New Haven Board of Officials, of which Keyes is a member.
"It's great," said Anthony Parillo, a soon-to-be senior running back who will be playing for Team Maroon. "The tradition's been going off for 21 years to be able to be a part of it and to know how much work that me and all these other guys have put in for such a great cause, you know, it's really special to me."
Though Jennifer Nolan had known about the fundraiser for years — last year, Sagnella said, the Brawl raised nearly $25,000 for North Haven teacher Sarah Panaroni — Nolan was still "shocked" when she learned her family would be this year's beneficiaries.
"I was just like overcome with like just happiness," she said as her daughters, Annie, 7, and Katie, 4 played at her feet. “The community or North Haven, the school, have been ... I can't even express in words, how amazing they've been and how much support they've given to me.”
A Hamden native, Matt Nolan dabbled in all kinds of work, from finance, construction, real estate, his wife said. “He was a very funny, energetic, workaholic type of guy, always doing something,” she said. Six-foot-1, Matt Nolan was also an athlete, he played baseball and hockey player as a young man and was an avid golfer, Jennifer Nolan said. He was recently getting back to playing ice hockey.
But after confronting an addiction to drugs and alcohol with the help of Alcoholic Anonymous and other rehabilitation organizations, his wife said, Matt Nolan dedicated much of his time helping others like himself.
"That was a big part of his life and he helped a lot of people," Jennifer Nolan said. "He talked about it a lot, shared his story a lot, and wanted to help other people." Many of those people, strangers to Jennifer Nolan, swore by his impact: "They came up to me and said, 'Your husband saved my life.'"
Matt Nolan suffered from Crohn's Disease, an inflammatory condition of the digestive system that has no cure, but can be managed with lifelong treatments. The surgery in late February was supposed to keep him in the hospital for 2-to-3 days, Jennifer Nolan said. But complications arose after the procedure.
"A week later, he wasn’t getting any better," his wife said. "His blood pressure crashed, he was placed in ICU and they figured out he’d become septic. He developed pneumonia and influenza and his heart was irregular the whole time."
He finally went into cardiac arrest and lost enough blood supply to his brain that doctors said Matt would be left incapacitated for the rest of his life. It left the Nolan family with the decision to take him off life support.
“The family and I met a lot and we just know that he would never want to live that way,” Jennifer Nolan said. “If he couldn't work and take care of himself, he would have hated it. That was him, working and making things and making things better and giving stuff to people. If he couldn’t do that, then it would ruin him.”
Jennifer Nolan said community support and now the Spring Brawl's beneficiary has already given the family comfort as they face the future. "It's been amazing," she said. Many member of Matt's large, extended family will be in attendance Friday. "It's a big family," she said. "They've totally taken me in, they love the girls and everything. So all the cousins and everything will be there."
From his pocket, Sagnella pulled out a check, donated anonymously. "The first year I think we raised $2,500. I got a check in my pocket right now for $2,000," Sagnella said. "Since 2011, this game has generated about $170,000. Last year, we raised just shy of $25,000. So, we're hoping to break that this year."
To make a donation, make checks out to: North Haven Youth Football (Care of Spring Brawl) and send to North Haven High School, 221 Elm Street, North Haven CT, 06473 (Care of coach Anthony Sagnella) or venmo: @NHYFOOTBALL "Spring Brawl 2025"