ENTERTAINMENT
Iowa is a nutty, nutty place. Not too long ago, Iowa columnist Kyle Munson wrote a story about an especially nutty thing that happens annually near Vining — the "Original Testicle Festival," held every year in a machine shed. It has been going on for decades according to Munson. And Munson never lies.
Vining, population 50, meet Whittemore, population 494, a comparative metropolis that also values having a ball."This year the teste festy (one of the event's T-shirt slogans; others include "Try to pass these testes" and "Get your nuts over to Whittemore") begins at 7 p.m. on March 14. The family jewels are free for the eating and there's also a drawing for 30 of those coveted T-shirts, and their nutty slogans. And lots of beer. Lots and lots of beer.
Four local couples have banded together since 1997 to cook up these messticles of testicles to feed the gonad-loving masses that show up every March. One of the organizers, Tom Eischew, says they'll cook up 150 pounds of fun to feed about 200 people. "Usually we run out of nuts by 10 o'clock but the party goes on until 2 a.m."
Not only are there the requisite pig parts, there will also be turkey testes, sheep sacks and cow cajones, as well as turkey gizzards, head cheese, liver and ball-of-beef pizza.
Do I have to say it? Road trip!
Lucky indeed
Lucky George Farm can certainly own its name. A couple of months ago, one the farms' Large Black hogs was chosen for the Minneapolis Cochon 555 event, in which five top-notch chefs each broke down a heritage hog into five different dishes to feed 500 people.
The event was March 1, and chef Thomas Boemer of Minneapolis' Corner Table restaurant took first place with Lucky George's hog, a beauty named Violet — who was maybe not so lucky, but was clearly delicious. Lucky George Farm focuses on conserving endangered breeds of domesticated livestock, of which Large Black is one.
I think Violet would be honored to have played a part in the win and in dishes like gamjatang, a spicy Korean bone broth; crispy torchon of trotter and sweet shrimp, truffled egg and hot sauce; smoked jowl with white cheddar grits; and the piece de resistance according to Johnson – caramelized rinds, pecans, 24-hour apples, lard puff pastry and smoked hock glaze. I gather it was something like the best snack mix you ever ate. You too, can get ahold of some Large Black meat, as well as other meats from Lucky George Farm raise and sell at the Downtown Farmers' Market.
Angela Johnson, who own Lucky George with husband Jason, said Violet impressed the heck of out of chef Boemer with her "deep, rich, red, dense meat" and massive jowls. She credits Violet's deliciousness in part to her diet of brewer's mash, which the farm gets from Flix Brewhouse, Confluence and Twisted Vine breweries. She said the event showcased "the artistry of the farming, the artistry of the breed and the artistry of the chef."
Chef Boemer will move on to the finals in Aspen, Colo., which happen in June. Johnson doesn't know if he — or another chef — might request a Large Black. But if it happens, they're ready. (Don't tell Violet's sister Isabelle…)
Self preservation
As I've been telling you, everything old is new again. I hope you've been paying attention and planning how you're going to garden and bake and can. As a shining example of 21st century homages to the golden olden days (which frankly sound like a total drag, what with the pumps and the outhouses and the no central air thing) I have learned to make pies and bread. (Well, just foccacia, but it's a start.) Now I'm thinking about learning this and you should too: preserving.
And here's our chance. Iowa State Extension is offering an online preservation course (eight lessons) for just $35. That's sort of the dull part I think (probably safety and whatnot). But after you complete that, then you get to go to one of four May workshops and actually preserve stuff. Choose from hot-water bath canning and freezing (May 9); jams and dehydrating (May 16); pickling (May 23); and pressure canning, (May 30). The classes are held at the ISU Extension office at 1625 Adventureland Drive in Altoona and run from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. (Lordy, I hope there's lunch.)
To register go to http://www.extension.iastate.edu/registration/events/conferences/preservation
Five years of Peace Tree
Peace Tree Brewing Company says they set out to save the world five years ago, one beer at a time. I don't know if they've saved the world, but they've saved it from a lot of bad beer (and gotten a lot of people really happy on Blonde Fatale).
They'll be marking their five-year anniversary with an all-day celebration on Saturday, March 21. The day will feature unique, small batch beer releases as well as local food and live music.
You'll be able to get the French fries of your dreams from Des Moines' Powered by Fries and Knoxville's own Captain's Cookin Cue.
Peace Tree beers will be available for purchase, including a limited-edition anniversary ale, which has been aged for three years and will be bottled specifically for sale the day of the event.
Amuse bouches
• Today is the last day that you can submit nominations for the Iowa Beef Council's 2015 Iowa's Best Burger contest. On March 16, the top 10 will be announced and on May 4, we'll all know where to get Iowa's most delicious hamburger. You can see the rules and vote online at www.iabeef.org or text BEEF to the number 313131 to cast your nomination. (An immediate reply text will be sent requesting your name, restaurant name and city/town.)
• Even if it's colder than a you-know-what on March 16, you can pretend it's summer. (Or eat your bad winter feelings.) Participating DQs are giving away small vanilla cones to celebrate the company's 75th birthday (on the 75th day of the calendar no less). One per customer, greedy guts.
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