The Texas Hill Country is known for its idyllic summer tranquility. Free of big city traffic, noise, and crowds, this is where the cool, clear waters of the Guadalupe River meet a wild landscape covered in lush trees and shrubs that create a secluded, shaded escape. Every summer, Central Texas plays host to families, nature lovers, adventure seekers, and children’s sleepaway camps.
As images of the catastrophic July 4 flooding in this beloved playscape initiate a wide range of emotions, the growing victim count gives way to the heartbreaking reality that many of the deceased are young children.
Leslie K. Taylor, PhD, a child and adolescent psychologist with UT Physicians Psychiatry Outpatient Clinic- BBSB, offers guidance and tips for talking to children of all ages about tough topics and how to reaffirm a sense of safety.
Talking and taking action
Natural disasters often leave children feeling vulnerable, scared, and anxious. Helping children cope, process, and express their emotions is best done in two ways: through talking and supporting positive action.
Parents should begin the conversation by talking to children about their own feelings.
“Calmly share how you feel. This will create a space where emotional expression is welcome,” said Taylor, an associate professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at McGovern Medical School at UTHealth Houston. “Crying is normal, but try to stay composed. If you deteriorate into tears, you might signal that this upsets you, and instead of opening up, your child may hold back for fear of upsetting you more.”
If you are upset, take the opportunity to model healthy coping strategies like taking a walk or calling a friend.
Elementary ages
Children as young as 4 years old are likely to hear about this event as it’s being discussed around them. It’s best if they hear about it for the first time from a parent. For elementary-age children, it’s unnecessary to go into detail about tough topics. Instead, share an overview of what happened.
“You can say something like, ‘There was an event this weekend. It rained really hard; there was some flooding, some kids got hurt, and they will be OK, and there are also kids who won’t be OK,’” explained Taylor, the clinical director of child services for the Trauma and Resilience Center at McGovern Medical School. “Tell your child that it makes you feel sad, and let them know it’s OK for them to also feel sad.”
Middle school ages
Older children will likely have more detailed questions, especially about the flooding, warnings, or evacuations.
“As much as you can, have open conversations with them about their questions, and if you don’t know the answer to something, you can tell them you don’t have the answer,” said Taylor. “It’s also helpful to ask your child why they’re interested in specific questions because you may be able to address underlying feelings.”
High school ages
Encourage teens with direct access to the disaster coverage through cell phones, computers, and television to limit how much they search for, engage in, and follow developments.
“Ongoing consumption of media about this event is not healthy for any mental state. We can’t change what’s transpired, and continuous exposure to details will not help anyone feel better,” said Taylor.
Instead, turn feelings of sadness, heartbreak, and anger into action. For teens who don’t want to open up in conversation, taking positive action may help them express their emotions in a healthy way.
“Unfortunately, we can’t change what happened,” said Taylor. “But we can encourage them to pursue ways to help and support others.”
Suggest that teens:
Remind children they are safe
Regardless of your child’s age, remind them they are safe and that you will keep them safe.
“This is a rare event, and you can explain that to your child,” said Taylor. “Use developmentally-appropriate language and tell them that you will learn from this and work to keep them safe.”
Create a family disaster plan together to ease fear and insecurity while building self-confidence.
What’s a normal emotional response?
The emotional recovery process takes time and can look different for each child. Symptoms of fear or trauma may take a month or more to fade. Symptoms of sadness and grief can take up to six months to begin to subside.
“For most children and adolescents, there will be a natural recovery process,” said Taylor.
Mental and emotional support
If you believe your child needs additional support, begin by speaking with their pediatrician.
Some parents’ employers provide counseling for family members through an employee assistance program (EAP).
“Ultimately, you want to keep an open-door mentality when it comes to talking to children about the Central Texas flooding,” said Taylor. “Let them ask questions, listen to their concerns, and remind them they are safe.”